Sunday, 18 January 2015

People are Nice Around Me

You are surrounded by the people; some may be bad for you or some may be nice. This is same for me also, but in my case I feel almost all people around me are better than me. All are nice except me.

As an example, I am not ready to help the person every time who is not so very close to me, but some of my friends are. They think they should be helped whenever they are in need. Of course they are nice people. Sometimes I think what the profit is; what will I get in return? That person is of no use. Although I help some of them, still these things come to my mind.

Years back I had a breakup or the girl whom I proposed ignored me completely. What you think; in this case what will I do? Now the scenario is that I have nothing to do with her. I don’t care about that person anymore; I am no longer a well wisher for her. I am like “all or none” type of person. I mean to say that I don’t bother what’s happening in her life.

In contrast of this; see what other people do.

I was talking with a friend of mine who is very caring (More than extra). In the course of conversation I got to know that she still wants everything good about her ex. She told me that she will pray for her ex that he gets whatever is best for him, even the girl with whom he is getting married. Her words were. “I’ll pray if she is good for him, sab theek ho jayega. If the relationship is good for him; I pray it will happen (marriage) because I want best for him.”

Now I think how she can be like this? How she can be so nice to him? Any ways, there are people who are always nice.

People celebrate the success of their friends, but I envy them. Sometimes I feel jealousy. Am I not bad? People buy gifts for the people who are not very close to them; I don’t do so. I don’t even buy gifts. There are few occasions, which can be counted on fingers when I gifted something to someone. Am I not bad?Actually, people around me are better than me. Nicer than me. I am trying to be a nice guy. I am learning from them.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Hello, My Old friend

People who visit my blog know about “The 4 A’s”, but I want to tell you that before these A’s there was an another friend of mine who was very close—Ashutosh.

We used to call him “Choubey Ji” (His full name is Ashutosh Choubey). We had a different impression of him upon ourselves. He is an orthodox Hindu Brahmin boy. We used to see him using the sacred thread around his ears while using toilets. We used to laugh. I remember him as the only friend then. We studied together from class 6th to 10th. Although we are a little apart during our board exams but I can’t remember a moment of separation. We are in touch although we haven’t met for years.

He has had no any bad habits, not at all (at least at that time). He was the guy with whom my dad had no problems. He used to say Ashutosh, a nice guy. I confess that I had a sort of rivalry with him. He has much more ambitions, but I had a secret motto to keep him behind me. Thanks to him, as doing so I got really good in some of the subjects and got highest in a couple of subjects. I still cherish it, I wonder because our class was full of studious students and a cut-throat competition was making it worse (and, I was never a part of it).

I got to know that now he has started drinking and smoking (heard somewhere). When I called him and asked him to have a drink party; he replied that he will be there anytime soon and wont say NO until I have enough of alcohol and I finally say NO. Yet I think he occasionally drinks and smokes.

Yesterday I had enough of alcohol and suddenly I started talking about him with my friends. I missed him. I remembered my beautiful old days and thought to write something about it.

We have many things common; we are both Brahmins, belong to middle class family and were vegetarians that time. Although, I was not his best friend, but for me he was. I remember, that time when everyone was moving to different schools for higher studies according to their preferences, we had to fill slam books (I loved it). There was a section saying “your best friend” and I remember; I had written Ashutosh’s name every time.

He is very strong both physically and mentally. When we were in class 7th or 8th; we had a fight. I don’t think he remembers it, but I remember this. We were talking about some study related question and we each had a separate answer. I thought I was right and furiously slapped him and he just did not react back. I mean, he would have slapped me back. He just gave me a look of shock. As I told you; he is very strong, I just think what if he would have slapped me back and you know I was nowhere close to him an physical strength. I felt very sad, although I was not talking to him, inside I was praying God to make Ashutosh talk to me. Anyways it was not for a long time. I was happy that he understood everything and forgave me.

It’s sad that our friendship is not like before or I think our friendship is same but it needs a catalyst. It might also be possible that our friendship is temporarily off in mundane and sophistication.

I wish him all the best. He should get what he deserves.

Saturday, 10 January 2015

She Says


I say, "I love you."
She says, "I love you too. I love you very much. I can't live without you."
                              [Romantic chats follow]
                                     [After sometime]

I say, " But, I love you."
She says, " Now, I love me more. Don't marry me"

I say, "Can't you change yourself; we will be happy together?"
She says, "I cant change myself for anyone, not for you also. Change yourself. Don't marry me"

I say, "We will be getting married; don't you think you should improve."
She says, "Don't you think asking to 'improve' itself is wrong? How can you ask me to improve? Accept me as I am or else don't marry me."

I say, "Can't you be a little sacrificing for me?"
She says, "OMG!! It's enough!! It's a love marriage and you are asking me to be sacrificing? Don't marry me."

I say, "You have ego problem."
She says, "You are not less. And yes I have ego. Then, don't marry me"

I say, "You don't respect me."
She says, "Of course I do. Don't you see how I talk to you. Actually you haven't seen a REAL me."
[I recall her statements going through the conversation again]

                                        [No contact mode]

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Where Logic is a Taboo: Part II

In my previous post I had some hypothetical situations where logic never works out. Emotions win every time. In this post I will try to explain why this happens, why emotion wins over logic. The thing is that at the time of taking any decision, emotions play a very crucial role. Actually even with what we believe are logical decisions, the very point of decision is perhaps always based on our emotions.

I have heard a madcap story which illustrates this point.

There was a wealthy man dating three very beautiful women. All of them were smart, lovely and talented. He was finding it very difficult to figure out which of these three women to marry. One of his friends who was considered wise advised him to give them each Rs. 500,000 and watch what they do with the money. The first woman spent the amount immediately on herself. The second lady invested the money somewhere. But, the third woman spent the money on him. Now the question is, whom do you think he married?

Any guesses? Let me tell you.

He married his secretary who had a surgically enhanced breast. Got the point?

Okay, let me explain you the same think in a different way. Think of any situation where you believe that you can argue with your concrete facts, ideas, reasons and logic. There is no way the other person could say no to your perfectly constructed argument. Saying no to you is impossible as you think that there are no other logical solution or answer against you.

But then some other person comes who did not get persuaded by your logic. He dug in his heels and refused to dislodge. Were you shocked? Of course you will be bewildered and stunned. The thing is that you can’t win an argument with facts, it’s all emotions because decision-making isn’t logical. You can only make them realize that what should be right or what is beneficial for them but ultimately they will decide on the basis of their self-interest (and that’s emotional). I want this; I am like this. This is good for me and my side and so on.

I have a personal experience, Let me explain you this.

Recently I bought a bike (Yamaha FZS). When I was at the dealer outlet, my intent was to have a sparkling new bike. I had my priorities at the beginning. Initially I was leaning towards a fuel-efficient bike. It might be possible that I was concerned about money and future investment. The thing was that I want a vehicle, which can accompany me on my daily commute. Suddenly my eyes were caught by some another motorbike. The bike’s colour and graphics attracted me; my heart skips a beat. Now I started thinking how happy my girlfriend will be when she sees this beauty or how I and she will look while riding it. And suddenly my priorities vanished. I decided this is the bike I must have. Who needs those bikes that are used by elderly people? I am young; I should have this bike (Yamaha FZS).

So in a persuasion, I think we should have a balance between emotions and logic. When dealing with people, you are not dealing with a creature of logic, but with a creature of emotion who is motivated by pride and vanity.

Logic is good where there is no emotion. Even without emotions you can’t be logical; you can’t take decisions.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Where Logic is a Taboo: Part I

There are the areas of emotions where logic is taboo. People dare to speak about the reasons and the logic doesn't show its face.

I was thinking of some hypothetical situations; you can say it as "An experiment with thoughts." The situations are like this:

Situation 1: There are four dying persons in a hospital who could be saved by an organ transplant (different persons, different organ). The thing is that donor is not available, but in a waiting room, a healthy man is sitting. If we kill him, he could provide the organs needed for each of the dying patient. Doing this we can save four lives for the price of one. 

My question is, it morally right to kill the healthy man for his organs and save the lives of the other four?

I know that everybody will say no. But I want to discuss this question further that why is it wrong? For your help, let me make this question easier. Suppose the dying persons are Subhas Chandra Bose, C. V. Raman, Einstein and Mahatma Gandhi? What would you say then? Now it is right right to sacrifice a homeless beggar who has no friends or relatives?

Situation 2: Consider that in a mine explosion two persons get trapped. They can be saved but only after spending billions of rupees. What will be your conclusion if I say that the money can be spent differently for saving the lives of people who are dying of hunger. 

Is it right to leave the persons in the mine to their fate and spend the money on saving the millions of people allover the world? 

I am sure again most of us would say no. Am I right? Even I am sure that some people will say that raising such questions itself is wrong.

When I asked this question verbally to some of my friends; they went on to call me an idiot and even insane. Although some of my friends slightly agreed to my reasons but more than half of them responded emotionally and suddenly opted out of the conversation.

Situation 3: Suppose a person is carrying a nuclear bomb and it is ticking. The police start torturing him as he knows how to disable it, but he refuses to speak. Would you torture him, his wife or his innocent child to reveal the secret? What if that day would be your last day or probably the last day of your country.

Can you justify this torture?

I know some of you will verify their emotions and hurl vicious insults at anybody who is prepared to discuss such matters (in this case it's me).

Situation 4: Suppose a pregnant woman wants to abort her child. She has an absolute right to do so as baby is the part of her body, She can do anything with her body including foetus. I want to make it clear that i don't care if the foetus is fully conscious and solving Newton's unsolved theorems in the womb.

What your emotion says to you in this case. Would you discuss about the "still-inside scientist" or simply stop talking, does our discussion go to any direction? Do you think woman is wrong, her decision of abortion is wrong, wrong, wrong; abortion is crime, it's murder, stop discussing you moron?

Actually I have so many questions like these, but will come up with them in my next post. Till then you can comment here whatever you have to say.